Overly Emotional

This has been a crazy week – very emotional – I think this whole stretched out Little Man case is really getting to me. The older he gets and the more verbal he gets, the more he tells me and acts out. We couldn’t figure out why he’s been so overly whiny this month, and then we realized he’s having a “body memory” of last June when he moved in with us. So we’ve been taking time right before bedtime to just sit quietly and talk with him and reassure him that he’s not going anywhere. It seems to be helping. But it just breaks my heart when he mentions “I go to visit” or “I go see momma” – it makes me feel like I’m not his real mommy. So needless to say, I’ve done a lot of crying this week. The court case we had on Monday (the mom’s appeal of the March court decision not to allow Little Man to return home to her) did not end in a decision – the judge is supposed to e-mail his decision sometime this week to the lawyers. So I feel like I’m sitting on pins and needles to wait to here if this judge – a totally new judge to the case – will allow Little Man to go home to his birth mom.

Update after court

On Tuesday, May 1st, we had a court hearing regarding Little Guy & Baby Girl. They have not had contact with their birth parents since January – the birth parents last saw Little Guy on January 19 and last saw Baby Girl on January 26 – 2 days after she was born. The state has made numerous attempts to contact them, all to no avail. They have now moved and the state is not real sure where they are. The aunt and uncle that had originally wanted to raise Baby Girl have now stepped back from the case. We had been having weekly visits with their family, but these all ended (by the aunt/uncle) the last week of March. The birth parents did not show up to court on Tuesday. Parental termination has been filed on Little Guy, and according to the commissioner and social worker, it looks like parental termination on Baby Girl will be done in either 3 months or 6 months (it depends on what the statues/laws say regarding abandonment and siblings). Regardless, we are anticipating that both Little Guy and Baby Girl will be legally free to adopt by this fall, and then we can move on to the adoption stage for both of them.

As for Little Man’s case – that too will hopefully be done by this fall. At this point, the case has turned from “the best interest of Little Man” to “the best way for the state to win the termination hearing”. This means that birth mom visits will continue and services to the birth mom will continue to be offered until the termination of parental rights is complete. Just recently, the birth mom has requested a Circle of Security evaluation - we are not sure when that will be done. Right now, the parties involved will be meeting on June 1 to set a date for the termination hearing. Unfortunately, this is heard in Superior Court, so the date will really depend on how busy the criminal docket is, and if something major comes up criminally, the termination hearing will have to be put on hold until the docket clears. They’ve told us that the termination hearing will be scheduled anywhere from 3 weeks to 16 weeks after June 1. Arrghh! The court system is just incredible! We are really trying to be patient because we know that God is in control of this, but sometimes, it is very hard! Especially since Little Man is only getting older, and the visits are becoming more confusing to him the older he gets. You can pray specifically that God protects Little Man – emotionally and mentally – during these visits. I know he is physically safe, and the visits are supervised, but we are just praying protection over his mind during the visits.

Little Man continues to amaze us with his communication – he talks non-stop and about everything! He is a smart little cookie! Little Guy started walking just before Easter, and now is running after Little Man and doing everything Little Man does – egads! However, Little Guy hasn’t really started talking yet – probably because he can’t get a word in edgewise around Little Man. Baby Girl is very alert, smiling all the time, and “talking” and laughing at us. It's amazing how similar Baby Girl and Little Guy are - I can pretty much anticipate a lot of her reactions based on what Little Guy did. And they look so much alike!

So keep praying for us! Thanks for being a listening ear!

Heading off to court...

Just a quick note -we are headed off to court today for the siblings - Little Guy and Baby Girl. I'll give a report of what happened as soon as I can today. It's a busy day - court at 11, a dental appt for me at 2, a public health nurse visit for the kiddos at 4 - and lunch and naps sometime in between! Yikes!

Computer is back in action!

OK - I think I finally have a completely working computer. Yippee! It's too late now, but maybe tomorrow I'll be able to update a little more than this. I have some pics I want to post, and some stories I want to tell, yadda, yadda, yadda. But right now, I need to sleep! See you tomorrow!

Outside Play

What a fun day yesterday! The weather was decent, so we decided to have some afternoon play time in the backyard. The boys love being outside, as does our dog Sam. Little Man's favorite thing to do, though, is to sit in the sandbox and throw sand all over himself. Before we went in the house, I stripped off most of his clothes outside to shake them out, dust off the collection of sand, and then hurried him in to the bathtub. But next to playing outside, his second favorite thing is bathtime, so it worked out well!

Telling Secrets

Little Guy loves his new baby sister. He especially likes it when I lay her down on the footstool so he can talk to her and play with her. And she seems to be responding really well to him. It's amazing how much she looks like he did at the same age. Spitting image! If I didn't dress her in pink, I wouldn't be able to tell pictures apart sometimes!

Yikes - Computer Problems!

Just to let you all know - I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. My main computer has been down with a virus, and it's almost all the way fixed. The biggest remaining problem is that I cannot access anything Google related from that computer, and this blog is connected to Google, so I can't sign in on my main computer! I finally got my old work laptop hooked up, and it seems to be working ok, so maybe I can update from here. If anyone knows anything about this Google problem I'm having, feel free to contact me. I'm lost as to how to fix it, and so is my computer guy.

Talk to you all soon!

Just a quick check in...

I realize it's been a while since I've written in my blog. This past month has been busy. We are all moved into our new home - we've gone from 3 bedrooms/1 bath to 5 bedrooms/2 baths. Plenty of room for kiddos! We are still unpacking boxes and trying to find things, but we feel pretty settled. The house is wonderful, and we feel more peaceful here than at the old house.

We have one more day of a 3 day court hearing for Little Man. The commission is hearing testimony regarding the mom's petition to have him returned to her. So far, not a single person can testify that they feel he should be returned. Our hope and prayer is that at the conclusion of this hearing the commission will sign the termination papers, end all parent visits, and move us closer to the adoption proceedings.

We have court May 1st for Baby Girl. The social worker stopped by on Friday for a visit, and he told me that the state's plan is to NOT separate the siblings, to keep them both with us, and to push for an open adoption (which we are in favor of) to allow the extended family to have continued contact and involvement with the kids. Now we just pray that the commissioner will go along with this. Interestingly enough, we have the same commission for both cases - Little Man and the Siblings. So by the time this is all over, she will know our family quite well!

I'll try to catch up with things that have happened over the last month. But right now, I need to get back to the kiddos!

Little Guy is Walking!

Today, during nursery (we had nursery duty this morning) Little Guy took 10-12 unassisted steady steps! It was so exciting and I got all teary-eyed! He started towards me, and I just kept backing up, and he just kept walking! It was so cool to see! I can't wait until he's doing it all the time. He's growing up so fast!

Today's Meeting

I wanted to give everyone an update on today’s meeting regarding the aunt & uncle that showed up for Little Guy & Baby Girl.

At this time, nothing has been concretely decided. The state is still trying to convince the aunt & uncle that the two children are best left together, and with us since Little Guy has been with us for so long. We assured the aunt & uncle that we would welcome their involvement in their lives, as well as the rest of their extended family (given that they are all safe people, which it sounds like they are). However, the feeling we got from them is that all they want is to have WBaby Girl with them, and they are not willing to think about any other options at this time.

We have a family visit set up for next Thursday at the mall playcenter, and the aunt & uncle, their two children, and a grandfather and great-aunt will be there to meet Little Guy & Baby Girl and our family. I think it will go well, and we plan to set up more visits with them.

I don’t know how this will all end up. All we can do is trust that God has a plan, and that it is bigger than what we can see at this time. Please continue to pray that we have peace about the situation and that the right things for the children will be done.

Thank you so much for walking with us in this.