Little Guy's 1st Birthday

Well, today we celebrated Little Guy's 1st birthday. I can't hardly believe that he is one year old, and that he's been with us for 11 months. It seems like only yesterday that we brought home a 5 lb. 2 oz. little frog-eyed redhead. Some days, though, it seems like he's been a part of our lives forever.

He had a parent visit today, and they actually made it, complete with a birthday card and gifts for him. They were supposed to have a visit yesterday, too, but cancelled it 1/2 hour before it was to start.

In the afternoon, we took him to get his one year pictures taken. We wanted to take advantage of the latest special at Walmart - 27 pictures for $5.88. We were hoping to get two of the packages, so we took his blue Christmas suit and a casual football outfit. But when we got there, we noticed that you could only get one package per family per visit. However, when the photographer found out we were foster parents, she let us go ahead and get two packages, plus helped us order additional prints at a much lower cost than usual. Most times, when people find out "our kids" are foster kids, they go out of their way to do special things for us and the kids. It's such a nice thing to see happen, especially when you hear so much about bad foster homes on TV.

Tomorrow is the big birthday party. So far, about 40 people have RSVP'd yes to coming. We've waited a very, very long time to celebrate a child's 1st birthday, and I'm really looking forward to it. We are using our fellowship room at our church, because there is no way that many people will fit into our little house. After we put the kids to bed tonight, my hubby and I went about making the birthday cake, painting the signs, wrapping the presents - all the fun stuff! Everything is pretty much ready to go tomorrow to the church.

Happy Birthday, Little Guy! We love you!

"Helping" with hangars

Little Guy loves to play in the closet with the hangars. I was putting away clothes today, and all he wanted to do was play with hangars. He is so helpful!

Little Man meets Santa

Today we took the kids to meet Santa at a local church. They were doing a special "Saturday Sunday School" and handing out presents. The kids had a lot of fun with all the music and singing and games. Each of the boys got a little Fisher Price Roaring Lion flashlight. Little man loves his, but Little Guy doesn't quite understand how it works. It was a fun morning for us.

Little Boys at Play

It's been awhile since I've updated my blog - just have been crazy busy with the boys and such. We also have our house on the market, so have been dealing with packing and cleaning and showing the house. No bites yet, but hopefully after the holidays we will be able to sell. We already know where we are moving to - a larger house with room for more children!

This picture of the boys is so typical of their play - they love to be in the kitchen with me, and they have their own cupboard of kitchen supplies to play with. Little Guy will be a year old soon, and Little Man is 21 moths old today. They play really well together. Little Man uses Little Guy for wrestling practice a lot, but they both enjoy it. Now that Little Guy is crawling, they like to chase each other through the house. Once Little Guy starts walking and running, it really will be crazy here!

Future Electronic Gurus

The boys are quickly learning how to push all the buttons on our cable box, DVD player and TV. Such little wonders! They especially love playing with it right in the middle of a show we are watching. Ah, boys! Always pushing buttons!

In the News - Parents Killing Children

Unfortunately, now that I'm a foster mom, I'm learning more and more about mental illness and how it's caused and what it can do. Some mental illnesses are genetic, yet there is a lot of mental illness that is caused by trauma, and a lot of times, childhood trauma. A discussion recently held by my mom's group was in regard to Lisa Diaz and other moms who have drowned their children and pled insanity in their trials.

What takes places in a child's formative years - the first three - really shapes who that child will be as an adult. I'll bet if you look at some of the women - and men - who are committing heinous acts, you will find some sort of trauma or dysfunction in that person's life as a child. Did you know that if a child does not bond to at least one person before the age of 3, they will probably never be able to bond to anyone? At least, not without a lot of work by the caregiver and therapists. And not being able to bond to anyone causes incredible problems in life - termed "attachment disorder". One of the sites that talks about this says:

"Instead of learning to trust as the baby who experiences the Healthy Attachment Cycle, this baby learns that the world is an unsafe place, that he must take care of himself, that he can trust no one to meet his needs. He learns that he cannot depend on adults. Instead of trust developing, rage develops and is internalized. He learns that he must be in charge of his life for his very survival. Is it any wonder that a child with reactive attachment disorder feels the need to be in control? He thinks his very life depends on it." from the website: http://www.attachmentdisorder.net

Now, I'm not saying that everyone who kills children and pleads insanity has an attachment disorder, but it is possible. Before I was a foster mom, I would see these things happen in the news and think - how in the world can this happen? But as I learn more and more about the problems with parenting and mental illness, the more I am - I want to say sympathetic but I don't know if that's the word - towards these people. I truly think that no one gave them the help they needed at a young age. This is one of the reasons I am glad God directed us into foster care rather than regular adoption. There are currently over 900 children in my county in foster care right now, and it's not their fault. "We" as a community, must help these children. We must get them to a normal place in life, we must love them and support them. If we don't, our future is doomed.

OK - off my soapbox now. Back to your regular programming! Can you tell this is my pasion?

Just how many children should we have?

Again, another discussion that was started in my mom's group. A very interesting one - I'm the only one in my mom's group that is a foster mom, and I don't think we have adoptive mom's in our group either. The discussion was - how many children to have and how to space them apart. Of course, my answer as very different than any of the other mom's.

For me, the situation is a bit different. I always wanted 3 children, a boy first then a girl, then another boy. Ah, best laid plans! After several years of marriage and trying to conceive, we found we were unable to have biological children. We were starting adoption procedures, and God really led us into foster care. And now, we have two little boys, 9-1/2 months apart, not "true" siblings. We are adopting the oldest one, and it looks to be headed the same way for the youngest. And now, the youngest has a "true" sibling on the way, a girl, due February, and we are told that we will be placed with that child as well. So before you know it, we have been graciously blessed with an immediate family. It's been lots of work, but so far, lots and lots of rewards. I am anxious for the little girl to come, because I'm seriously outnumbered by males!

As for more - well, we are ready to roll with whatever God gives us. "Our plan" is to have the first three kids into school, and then start with more foster-to-adopt children. While waiting for the first three to get into school, we will take in temporary placement foster children as needed. But of course, "God's Plan" will probably trump "our plan" so I'm just going to watch the picture unfold. Would I have planned to have my first 2 children 9-1/2 months apart? Probably not - it is a lot of work when they are that close yet not twins. Would I change it now? Nope - the boys bring so much joy to our lives! It's fun seeing how well they play together, and learn from each other (well, mostly the youngest learns from the oldest). And now, the little girl coming will have two big brothers to protect her. The two youngest will be just over a year apart - so we'll have 3 children under 2. Are we crazy? Probably! But we feel very blessed. As our friends say, be careful what you pray for, and how often! God has answered our prayers for children in a manner we never imagined!

Sleep, baby, sleep!

My mom's group has recently been discussing sleeping problems with children, so I thought I'd share here what I shared with them. I still don't have a clear cut answer, but it sure helps to talk about it!

We try to get both boys to bed no later than 8 pm each night. Some nights it's earlier, depending on the day (on parent visit days, it's sometimes 7:00 bedtimes!). And my rule is that no child is out of bed until 7 am. Both kids will wake up before 7, but they usually just chatter or sing to themselves until I get them out of bed at 7. Little Man, our almost 20 month old, sleeps through the night pretty well. He sometimes wakes up at 5 or 5:30 in the morning, but I think it's because he hears Daddy getting ready for work, and then wants a ba-ba. But for the most part, he'll sleep until 6:30 or so. Little Guy, our 10-1/2 month old, is another story. Because of foster care rules, he is currently sleeping in our room - he has to be on the same floor as us, and since we only have our bedroom on the second floor, he sleeps in our room in his own crib. I think this is one of the reasons why he is not sleeping through the night. I wake at the slightest sound, so I'm always waking when he talks in his sleep. When he does wake, I've been trying to let him fuss, then cry, it out, but that's been difficult. Currently, he's had two bottom teeth come up, and now 2 or 3 top teeth are coming down. He's congested and snuffly, I think mostly due to the teething, but he also has a slight cold. So I think he's having a hard time breathing good at night. The last two nights he's woken up about every two hours, which is a nightmare for me! My lovely husband has this ability to sleep hard, and not really hear the baby unless he's really crying hard. Me, on the other hand - I wake when he rolls over it seems! I told my husband last night - I just want one or two nights where I can sleep for 6 hours at a time before the new baby comes! Pray that it happens!

And he's off!

Little Guy started crawling on October 29, and now he's getting very fast! I put him down on the floor, and zoom - off he goes! It's so fun to watch him. Little Man likes to run through the house, and now Little Guy can crawl after him. They giggle while doing it, and its such a fun sound to hear!

Court Hearing for Little Guy

Today we had another court hearing for Little Guy. As expected, not a whole lot was decided at this point. The parents still have another 3 months to get their act together. The commissioner ordered that a permanency planning hearing be scheduled for February 2007, at which time he will decide if Little Guy is to stay with us or to return home. Right now, the social worker is asking for termination of parental rights, based on actions of the parents up to this point. The parents have not maintained 100% visitation as ordered by the court, nor have they completed all of the other services ordered by the court (i.e. drug testing, parenting classes, drug abuse support groups, counseling, etc.). The commissioner stated to the parents today that due to their lack of participation in court ordered services/visits, Little Guy does not know his birthparents and has bonded and attached to us as his parents. He told them that they have some very hard decisions to make regarding Little Guy, and that they will have to sacrifice some things if they want to have him returned to their home. He finished by saying that they need to show 100% compliance in all visits/services from now on in order to even have the chance to have Little Guy returned to them.

The social worker for the case spoke with the parents about the option of an open adoption, in which they would be able to see Little Guy once or twice a year, and get letters, cards, & photo updates about him. At this time, they have not made a decision one way or another, but I believe the social worker is going to continue talking with them about this option and how it may be in their best interest.

Little Guy's mom is pregnant again, and is due on February 7 with a little girl. That was actually Little Guy's due date last year, but he was born on December 29. We are fully expecting that she will have the baby early, probably in January, and at this time, the social worker is pushing to have this one placed in our home as well. Again, a lot will rest on what the parents decide to do over the next 3 months.

Little Man is doing good - he has been with us for 5 months now. He still has visits with his birthmom, but we are hoping that those will end before Christmas. The termination of parental rights has been submitted to the courts, but a date for the hearing has not been set yet. Visits will continue until the time of termination, and right now he is really struggling on visit days. The older he gets, the more he is able to differentiate between the mom he sees twice a week versus the mom and dad he lives with. It's getting harder on him, especially with some of the stress that transfers during the visits. Once the termination is done, we can start the adoption paperwork. But we are thrilled to have him in our home, and we know that someday soon he will truly be our son, officially! He is eating pretty good, and really likes his veggies! He has about 30 words right now, although he seems to be dropping the ending consonants on most of them. He loves to climb on top of everything, and he really enjoys sitting in the lid drawer in the kitchen. He is 19-1/2 months old and about 26 pounds - and a very SOLID 26 pounds - my husband is sure he will be a football player!

Little Guy is growing by leaps and bounds. He has one tooth all the way up (bottom left), one tooth 1/4 of the way up (bottom right) and two top teeth have broken the surface of his gums. Add to this a slight cold, and the poor guy has a constantly runny nose! He seems to be able to hear us pull the kleenex from the box, and knows we are soon to come wipe his nose. Not his favorite thing! He is crawling now, just started this last Sunday. And he's getting very quick! It doesn't take him long to go from our living room to the kitchen, and he seems to really enjoy hanging out under the dining room table! We know he wants to just run after Little Man, so I expect that very soon he will be pulling himself up on the furniture. He is 10 months old and about 16 pounds, but not quite as solid as Little Man. He still seems like a feather to me compared to Little Man. It's hard to remember the time when we brought him home and he was only 5 pounds. It seems like ages ago! For me, when I look at his feet, that's where I can see the growth. And his hair! It's still red, but not as coppery, starting to turn blonde in some spots. And it's so curly! I can almost get it into an afro look sometimes, especially freshly dried after a bath! He and Little Man play really well together, and they enjoy making each other laugh. I hope that they get to continue growing up together!

To add to everything else going on at this time of year, we are getting ready to put our house on the market and move to a bigger house. We are not 100% sure of the house we are moving to, but right now we are seriously looking at and talking with the owners of a house that has 5 bedrooms as opposed to our current 3. This will give us plenty of room for children!

That's all for now. I wish I could be more consistent with keeping my blog updated, but with two little ones mobile now, it's harder and harder to get time to myself. Especially now that I have to pack up and get ready for a move! Yikes!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween from the boys! Little Man went as a Lion and Little Guy went as Tigger. We had a busy day. First, trickor-treating with Moms Club at a retirement center, followed by a small party with the group. Then out to my mom's to pick her up for her therapy appt. Then Little Man had a visit with his bio-mom for trick-or-treating at an area mall. Then we took both boys to our church for a Harvest Party. Plus, it was Daddy's birthday. So, it was a busy day, but lots of fun. Our first Halloween with children - what a fun time!

My kind of coffee

You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Tigger Tail

Just had to post another picture! This is of Little Guy playing in his Tigger Jump-Up. He really enjoys this. And it's so stinkin' cute how the little tail on the backside sticks out!

Daddy & Little Guy

Just thought I'd add a picture of James and Little Guy playing on the floor (taken August 19). Little Guy started sitting up on his own on August 10, and now that he knows he can do it, that's all he wants to do - sit and play with his toys. And of course, he likes it much better when one of us sits to play with him. In this picture, he's wearing his first pair of "big boy" jammies. I say "big boy" because these are two pieces jammies, not the one piece, zip up, footie jammies he normally wears. And if you can believe it, these jammies are marked 12M - so I originally got them for Little Man, but someone must have mismarked them big time! Little Guy usually wears 3-6M clothes, and these jammies fit him perfectly. Either they really shrunk, or were horribly mismarked!

Sick Child & Shattered Window

I went to get Little Man out of bed this morning - he woke up at about 7 am - and found a very runny nose! The cold he's been trying to get finally settled in, which I figured would, since he's had a few coughing fits in the middle of the night the last two nights. So I got him up, changed him into warm sweat pants and such, and cleaned out his little nose, and gave him his cough & cold medicine. Poor little guy - all stuffy and can't breathe. James stayed home from church with him, as we were slated to work the nursery today, and sick kids aren't allowed in the nursery.

But I got Little Guy all ready to go to church with me, and walked out to the van to find that some little bugger had shot out one of our van windows with a BB Gun. Not the most fun to find in the morning! So back in the house with Little Guy I went, to tell James what I found. I ended up leaving both boys home with James so that at least one of us could work our shift in the nursery. We only have to do it once a month, and luckily today there were only 5 kids in the nursery, and 2 belonged to other nursery attendants. Usually at second service at our church there are close to 15 kids in the nursery, but it was a slow day today.

I tried to take Little Man's temp. when I got home. Best way to do so is from down south, and he wasn't all that interested in having that done. The temp was right around 102, and all my baby books say that I should wait to call during regular doctor hours about that temp. So I'll just keep him in his sweats today, and make sure he eats good and gets plenty of water and rest. He's just now waking up from a nap, so we'll see how he feels. Of course, I called the social workers for both boys to cancel visits for tomorrow. Little Man's mostly because of his cold, secondly because of our van (I do all transporting to/from visits) and Little Guy's because of the van. Of course, if they have someone who is able to transport Little Guy to/from visit, I'm sure that will still take place, but Little Man will definitely need to just stay home and rest tomorrow. Hopefully my Gram can come over and watch the boys while I take the van to get it fixed.

Foster Adopt Video

I found this video on the web. Click on the title of this entry to go to the video page. It's a true story about a foster adopt child. Please take a moment to view. It's quite a touching story.

Yet another missed visit

I got a call about 25 minutes prior to Little Guy's visit today telling me that it had been cancelled by the parents. Of course, I wasn't given a reason, I never am, but it's one more mark against the parents. In the last 4 weeks, out of 8 visits, the parents have cancelled 4 of them. Not a good track record in my opinion. The social worker is on vacation until the end of the month, so once he gets back in the office, I'm going to request a sit down meeting with him to discuss what's going on, what he thinks is going to happen, and what the state's thoughts are on the unborn baby. I want to make sure we are prepared for whatever is possible happening. If he really thinks we will be getting this new baby, I need to get our licensor in here to re-do our license for 3 kiddos.

Little Man still had his visit today. He woke up at 6 am this morning - not surprising, since he went to bed and asleep by 7 pm last night. But by the time I picked him up from his visit (they go from 9am-12 on Mondays) he was exhausted and fell asleep in the van on the way home. I got him home, changed him into his jammies, and he went right back to sleep, cuddling his little stuffed monkey. So cute and sweet! He's been asleep for an hour now, and Little Guy is alseep too, so I've actually got a few minutes of quiet to myself. Not a frequent event in this house!

He's sitting! He's sitting!

Little Guy is sitting up all on his own! I know this may not sound like much, but it was the goal the therapist and I set for reaching by the end of the month, and he's already done it! Therapy was yesterday, and Little Guy sat by himself, but it only lasted about 50 seconds before he toppled over. Today, while at the park for Mommy & Me Play Group, I sat him up on the blanket, and he stayed that way for 10 minutes!! Without supporting himself with his hands. And he was correcting himself when he started to fall. I'm so happy! Of course, now that he knows how to do it, that's all he wants to do!

Another Baby?

We recently found out some interesting news - something we had suspected but has been confirmed as of late. Little Guy's bio-mom is pregnant again, with another little boy. It's a very, very strong possibility - heck, pretty much a certain thing - that before Christmas we will be placed with Little Guy's brother. Yikers! That means we will have 3 children under the age of 2. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. We are excited, and nervous, and worried. So many different emotions. We need to have a sit down talk with the social worker, and then get our licensor back in here to re-license us for three kiddos. We already have two cribs in our bedroom, and the boys' room has two cribs in it. The plan is for Little Guy & Little Man to share a room, and the newest baby will be in our room. So say some prayers for us, as well as for the unborn child. Bio-mom continues to smoke, and I'm not certain if she is still drinking and doing drugs. Pray for divine protection for the unborn baby.

High Heat and Birthday Bash

Yikes! It was over 100 degrees here today! I'm not liking this overly hot weather at all!

We went to our very first child's birthday party today - that is, a child that is not related to us! One of the couples that we went through our foster training with was placed with a child soon after they were licensed last October. And now he's 1 year old and the TPR should be done on September 1 so they can officially adopt him! The party was a Hawaiian Luau, and in their backyard, and they have a pool, so we were all able to at least get wet and slightly cool off when it got too unbearable. However, the water temperature of the pool was probably close to 90 degrees! But at least we could cool off some. Our two little ones seemed to enjoy the pool. And I did the underwater test with both of them. They passed! They both went under without a problem, and our oldest went under twice. I'm trying to get them ready for swim lessons. We're hoping to get our 16 month old in lessons within the next month.

Tomorrow we are headed out to the lake to celebrate three family birthdays - my dad, my grandma, and my brother-in-law. My parents have a place at the lake, so we'll be able to swim and relax in comfort! The only saving grace with this hot weather is our easy access to swimming!

Here I am - Finally!

I just realized how very long it's been since I've posted an entry here. Yikes! Can you tell I now have 2 children under 2 yrs of age? Life has been crazily busy!

We now have two foster children in our home - and the oldest of the 2 is 99.9% outs to adopt! I can't say 100% until the paperwork is complete and the judge has signed off, but we're very close! We are excited and nervous at the same time.

Little Man came to live with us on June 4. It was a rocky start - the first week or so I'm not sure who cried more - me or him. But we seem to have gotten over the really rocky parts and are now reaping the benefits. His little personality has really started to shine these last few days, and he seems to be a lot more comfortable in his new home and confident that we aren't leaving him. I really need to sit down and write out the whole story for you all, but right now I'm tired and heading to bed. I've also got some cute pics to share (no face shots yet!) so I'll try to get those posted. I can't promise anything though - I never imagined how busy life would be once we added Little Man to our home. But it's a good busy, for the most part. I'll say one thing for sure that will help you understand my frustrations the most - I HATE PARENT VISITS!! I know, I'm supposed to be fostering for a plan of reunification (oh, please, whatever) but when I really can see the writing on the wall, it's very hard to be positive and optimistic about parent visits. Anyway, enough about that for now.

So sorry to be gone for a while from my blogging, but hopefully over the next few days I can catch up and share some fun and some not so fun stories with you. Until then...goodnight!

Little Guy finds his feet!

I just love this picture! Little Guy has recently realized that his feet are connected to his body and he can play with them whenever he wants. It's his newest toy! It is so fun to watch him play and entertain himself. He hasn't quite brought the feet to his mouth yet, but he's getting close. He's getting to be such a big boy! He turned 6 months old on June 29, but because of his preemie status, his adjusted age is 4 months old. Plus with his medical problems at birth, he is a bit behind developmentally, but he's in OT once a week, and that seems to be really helping. We'll get him caught up in no time!

Playground Slide

I took the boys to Franklin Park today after Little Guy's OT appt. The OT office is a 15-20 minute walk from my house, and the park is another 5 minutes from that. Little Man has to be strapped in the stroller during the 1 hour OT appt for Little Guy, so he was ready to run and play by the end of the hour. He had great fun running around the playground, and especially liked the slide. I got some great pics of his hair full of static electricity, but you can see his face, so I picked this one to share with you all.

Strawberry Picking

I took the boys to one of the local strawberry fields today. I met my mom, my sister and my niece up there. We had a good day for the first official day of summer. Boy was it hot! I don't think Little Man had ever had strawberries before - he seemed to enjoy them. He really enjoyed playing with the hay between the rows. My mom is recovering from a stroke she had on April 21, but she is doing well. She enjoyed being out with us to pick strawberries, and when it got too much for her, she just sat and played with the boys! They like Grandma! So we had a good day. I got a big box of strawberries, and now just have to find time to do something with them. But I got lots of great pics!

A New Sandbox

I found a sandbox for the boys today at Other Mothers. It's one of the green plastic turtles with a lid. I got it for $10, then bought 250 pounds of sand for another $15. And Little Man loves it! So it was well worth the money and the grunting it took for me to fill it. But it's a great thing for Little Man to play in - I remember playing for hours in a sandpit that my dad had dug for me. Of course, we lived on a 20 acre farm, so we had plenty of ground to dig in, but the sandbox was my favorite! And now I can pass that fun down to the boys.

Little Man visited today

We spent the first part of today visiting with Little Man, trying to get him used to his new home. The foster parents brought him by at 10 am, and at around 12:30 or so they left for a couple of hours so he could spend some time with us alone. He fussed at first, and kept going to the front door where they had gone out. But then I cuddled with him and fed him a bottle, and when he was done with that, he was all smiles. We got hugs and kisses and laughs and he did great! They all left around 3 pm, and on Thursday will be back for one more long visit before they actual move in. It's all so exciting! The picture is of him playing hide and seek with us. I'll post pictures of his adorable little face as soon as I'm legally able to.

Camping with Little Guy

We camped out in the middle of the woods this Memorial Weekend - a traditional family event for us. We camp in an area that is used by the Air Force for survival training. The weekend before we got there, the Air Force was conducting Prisoner of War training. A few hundred feet from where we usually park our trailer they had set up their camp, complete with prison. I had DH James and Sam get in the prison for a picture. The whole camp was actually a very elaborate set up, and was interesting to see.

Then we did our own self portrait - you can kind of see Little Guy's red head at the bottom!

And we survived it ourselves by camping with an infant in the middle of the woods! Little Guy did great - luckily our little single axle travel trailer has a propane heater so we were able to keep him and us toasty thru the night - even as the rain came pouring down on top of the trailer. Little Guy especially loved being toted around in my front pack - we took several walks that way, and he settled right in during them. It was good to finally get home though. We went up on Thursday and came home on Sunday - a long weekend with a little one!

Reaching Out & Grabbing Things!

Out Little Guy is finally actively reaching out and grabbing things all on his own! I know, I know - so you say, Big Deal! But we're so happy! He's almost 5 months old, but really, his adjusted age is 3 months old due to his preemie status. So to me, it's exciting to see how he's doing! I know I can't show you his face online yet, but here's his pudgy little hand reaching out for a toy attached to his cradle.

Sweet Sleeping Baby

I love taking pictures of Little Guy when he is sleeping! He is so seet to look at! Here's a shot of his cute little pudgy hand - arm splayed straight out while he was sleeping the other day. Just too sweet!

A new Little Man to our house?

When God works, He does it in utterly amazing ways! Recently, God has brought a Little Man into our lives - a 14-month old foster baby boy who has been in foster care since he was 9 days old. He's a very happy, healthy, well adjusted little blonde towhead with the most infectious smile! His foster parents are not interested in adopting, especially one this young (they are in their 60's). But they are a wonderful Christian couple who have been praying for just the right family for the Little Man. And through two different people, they have been directed to us. We got to meet him tonight, and of course, we just fell in love! The whole story is amazing, and when I have more time I'll tell the whole thing, but for now, it's just amazing! This is definitely a situation that dropped into our laps - this time, I chased no one or nothing to get this! If everything goes well, and I'm sure it will, he will be coming to live with us on June 4. The social worker believes it will still be 6 months or so before complete parental termination and adoption, but it is coming. I'm so excited!!

Mom on the Mend

Just wanted to update everyone on my mom. She seems to be recovering from her stroke, but I don't know if she'll ever be the same as she was before the stroke. She's getting stronger, and is talking better, but I think it will just take time for her to be really well again. It looks like they are sending her home on the 11th, and then my sister and I will switch on and off staying at home with her while Dad is at work.

Thanks for all your prayers!

Busy Day - Go, Go, Go!

Today was a very busy day. Out of the house by 9 am - had to take Little Guy to a parent visit at 10. Ran errands during the two hour visit, soliciting donations for our Foster/Adoptive group Foster Care month celebration. Then picked up Little Guy at noon and headed to my grandma's for lunch. Left there around 1:30 to head up to rehab to visit with my mom. Left there at about 3:30 to go home and start dinner. Made lasagna for the first time in my life! It's funny - I love to cook, and bake, but have never made lasagna. When my hubby and I were planning our weekly menu, he really wanted lasagna, so I decided to try it. It turned out a little salty, but I know what I need to do next time to make the adjustments. After dinner it was off to church - hubby and I are taking a class called Love and Respect - it's actually pretty good. Only a few more weeks of class left. Then it was home to feed Little Guy his evening rice and bottle, and put him down to bed, and watch a little TV ourselves.

We're trying to get Little Guy to sleep through the night. He was getting up once at around 2 am after going to bed at 10 pm. But now, we're giving him spoon fed rice and a bottle right before bedtime, and then if he wakes up, just giving him his binky and stroking is head instead of getting him up for a bottle. We'll see how it works!

Grocery Shopping Galore

Today we ventured out, just the two of us, for grocery shopping. We had no other appointments, so we just took our sweet time and cooed back and forth at each other while walking the aisles. Little Guy seems to enjoy grocery shopping - lots to look around at and lots of bright lights! Then we came home and he slept while I put everything away. It was a good day!

Little Guys 4 month well baby check

Little Guy is growing so well! He's up to 12.5 lbs and 23" long. Doctor and nurse both think he looks great! The parents were at the doctor visit today, but I was a little disappointed in how quickly they left after he had his shots. I let the bio-mom stand next to Little Guy during the shots, and let her pick him up and comfort him when they were done. But that only lasted a minute or so. She handed him back to me while he was still crying, and then they both left in a hurry.

But we gave Little Guy a bit of Tylenol before the appointment to ward off pain and fever, and he seemed to do better this evening. Another dose before bedtime, and he slept well and had no fever this time. I'm glad he didn't suffer quite as much as last time!

Sad News

Just a very quick update so you don't think I fell off the earth. My mom had a stroke recently, and I've been busy with being up at the hospital with her. She is currently in ICU, but they are hoping to move her to a regular room on the neuro floor today or tomorrow. Please pray for her - her name is Vickie. I'll update more as I have time. By the way, Little Guy is doing great, and I'll try to update about him soon. Thanks to all!

New Mobile!

This is the new mobile that has been our lifesaver lately! It's by Tiny Love. Little Guy gets really fussy between 5 and 10 pm - not quite full blown colic, but just general fussiness that you can't quite soothe. However, this mobile does the trick. He can watch it turn and move for quite a while, and it seems to calm him right down. It plays three selections of muic - pieces by Bach, Beethoven and Mozart. He really, really likes it! I purchased it at a big sale put on by our local twins association group. They put on twice yearly sales, all high quality used items. I got this mobile for $12 - quite a steal in my opinion. I also got a diaper wipes warmer for $7 - a godsend for Little Guuy's rear end! Make sure to check out if your town has a twins association, and if they do a sale - you'll find great deals. Or a Just Between Friends sale - I'm going to that tonight.

Another Missed Visit

Wednesday I headed down to DCFS for the normal visit from 10-12. At 9:50, when I was just 4 blocks away from DCFS, the scoial worker called to say that the parents weren't coming in today. But since I was so close, and he hadn't seen the baby since March 14, he said to come down and we would visit about the case. So we spent about an hour talking, and I feel much better about him (the sw) now. When he first took over the case, and I wan't sure what to think - he didn't seem too invested in the situation. But now I know how he really feels. He told me that this is usually the time when the parents start to show their true colors - it's been 2-1/2 months since they lost their baby, and they may be getting tired of all the requirements that they need to meet. He also said that maybe they really don't want to parent this child, but felt they had to "show a good fight" in order to not feel guilty about the state taking their baby away. He said he'd have a nice long talk with them. He said he has been successful in the past with getting parents to do willing relinquishment, and that may be were this case is headed. We're supposed to have another scheduled visit on Monday, but the sw said to wait and talk with him Monday morning about whether to bring Little Guy down or not. So, for now, we just wait, and pray. Maybe this will be over before sooner than we thought!

Getting to know...Fostermomwa

I received an e-mail recently ask several questions about myself, and then asking me to forward it on and keep it going. I usually don't participate in these, but I found some time that day and answered the questions and sent it out. So I thought I'd share it with you here, in hopes that you'll get a little more glimpse into who I am.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 3am, 4:30 am, 6:30 am, 8 am finally for good!
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? "Chronicles of Narnia" & before that "Hitch"
4. What is your favorite TV show? LOST, Survivor, American Idol, 24, Project Runway, Next Food Network Star
5. What did you have for breakfast? Bowl of Lucky Charms
6. What is your middle name? Joan
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Good old fashioned comfort foods or Chinese
8. What foods do you dislike? Liver, baked beans
9. What is your favorite Potato chip? BBQ chips
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Lullaby tape in the nursery
11. What kind of car (truck) do you drive? Toyota Camry
12. What is your favorite sandwich? Roast Beef & Cheddar on Wheat with a little BBQ suace
13. Favorite item of clothing? Jeans & a cardigan sweater
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Fiji Islands or Australian Beaches
15. What color is your bathroom? white & blue w/ seashell accents
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Lee Jeans, Faded Glory Jeans & shirts, Liz Claiborne Sport skirts
17. Where would you want to retire to? Metalline Falls, WA
18. Favorite time of day? Afternoon
19. Where were you born? Spokane WA
20. Favorite sport to watch? Gonzaga Basketball or Figure Skating
21. Who do you least expect to send this back? My sister
22. Person you expect to send it back first? Susan
23. What type of detergent do you use? whatever's cheapest
24. Coke or Pepsi? coke if I have to, but I prefer Mountain Dew
25. Are you a morning person or night owl? used to be a night owl before baby, now I'll sleep just about anytime I can!
26. What size shoe do you wear? 8
27. Do you have pets? Sam, black lab/dalmation mix, 11 years old in May
28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? We have a foster baby who is 3 months old
29. What did you want to be when you were little? a nanny
30. Favorite Candy Bar? Butterfingers
31. What are your best childhood memories? Saturday nights - Love Boat, a big bowl of popcorn & a big glass of milk
32. Different jobs you have had in your life? daycare worker, admin. asst., day spa manager, receptionist, waitress, fabric store clerk, bookkeeper, now a stay at home foster mom
33. What color underwear are you wearing? white with purple dots
34. Nicknames: Shmeeg, Meegie-Pooh (old one from Gram)
35. Piercing? past or present?....ears, but I rarely wear earrings - I forget half the time and run out of time the other half!
36. Ever been to Africa? no
37. Ever been toilet papered? No
38. Loved someone so much it made you cry? yes
39. Been in a car accident? 4 or 5 as a driver, 1 as a pedestrian hit by a car (yes, ouch is right!)
40. Croutons or bacon bits? bacon bits
41. Favorite day of the week? Sunday
42. Favorite restaurant? China Dragon, Sweet Old Bob's, Prospector
43. Favorite flower? A big bunch of wildflowers or simple daisies
44. Favorite ice cream? anything with raspberries & chocolate together (Raspberry Rumble by Schwann's is excellent!)
45. Disney or Warner Brothers? DISNEY
46. Favorite fast food restaurant? McDonald's All American Meal with extra fries!
47. What color is your bedroom carpet? mottled grey/brown burber
48. How many times did you fail your driver's test? none, but I only passed it by one point, and that was after a re-add!!
49. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? A quilt group
50. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Other Mother's or Joanns Fabrics
51. What do you do most often when you are bored? Internet Surf
52. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire???? All of them!
53. Last person you went out to dinner with? My Hubby
54. Ford or Chevy? Ford if I have to choose one, real favorite is Toyota
55. How many tattoos do you have? none
56. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? God created the chicken first

Fostermomwa & Hubby

I decided not to put the picture of James and Little Guy sleeping. Instead, here's a picture of me and hubby, and you can just barely see Little Guy's red head down under my chin. And believe me, I'm working on getting rid of that nasty double chin! Yuck!

Today's Court Hearing

Today was the first review hearing for the parents of Little Guy. My hubby and I both attended, not quite sure what to expect. We'd been told that 9 times out of 10, the judge/commissioner doesn't ask the foster parents to speak - they just rely on the Caretaker's Report to answer their questions. But of course, this was the 1 of 10 - after the commissioner asked for the attorneys to speak and the social worker and the GAL, he asked us to speak. I spoke for both of us, and just reiterated things I had put in my report. I tried, and think succeeded, in not shedding negativity on the parents. Just stated the facts about Little Guy. Of course, in my head were a ton of things I would have loved to have said, but I kept myself in check!

The results of the hearing? Little Guy will stay with us until the next review hearing in July. There was talk about increasing parent visits, and scheduling some supervised visits in the parents home, but nothing has been cemented yet. We'll just wait until we're asked to have him at different places. It seemed like the real issues were glossed over, but when we spoke to the sw after court, he said that typically the first review hearing is that way. He said that his office will still be very diligent in making sure the parents do everything they are supposed to, and that some of the deeper issues are really investigated. He wasn't set in stone that Little Guy will return to parents yet.

So for now, we keep on keeping on. We love on Little Guy as much as possible, and pray over him, and just pray that God's will be done in his life.

Right now, he's sleeping on my hubby's chest. I think I can get a picture to post without revealing Little Guy's identity, so I'll do that and post it. They look so cute together! My husband is from Michigan, and is a HUGE Wolverines fan, and today at Other Mother's we found a cute little Michigan Wolverines outfit for Little Guy. It will be a couple of months before it fits him, but we just couldn't resist!

Thanks for all your love, prayers and support!

Updating my blog

OK - I'm finally updating my blog. I decided to do several entries, and back date them. This is the easiest for me. I finally figured out how to back date - yay! - so I'll just spend some time with that. Lots to read, so get a cup of coffe or tea or whatever, and have a good read!

Day of Crying!

I had to turn in my Caretaker's Report to the court today. I cried all the way to the courthouse. I'm just so frightened that Little Guy will go back to his parents! I fell like WE are his parents, not them! I know, I know, I'm being selfish, but I can't help it! And of course, by the time my husband got home from work, he could tell I was upset, so that started a whole new cry session! Plus I've been feeling lately that I'm not a REAL parent, just a foster parent, which makes me even more emotional. Yikes - you would think it's that time of the month, but it's not forgoodness sake. I'm just an emotional basket case today! Please pray for strength and peace for me - I really, really need it!

On a somewhat good note, I went to a baby shower tonight for one of the gals in my church. She's just a couple years younger than me (I'll be 35 on April 25) and she's pregnant with her first child. She's had a hard time getting pregnant, too. I took Little Guy with me, and of course all the ladies just oohed and ahhed over him. And then a couple of the gals from church said, "how come there hasn't been a baby shower for you?" I just shrugged and said, "well, I'm not going to TELL someone they HAVE to have a shower for me." But one of the gals said, "well, if you can't, I certainly can!". So maybe they will have one for me. I think that's one of the reasons I haven't felt like a REAL mom - it seems that gals are having baby showers left and right at church, and here I've had Little Guy for over two months, and no one has said a thing to me about having one. I know, it's my slefish side kicking in again (that side is so loud lately!). But like I told my husband, when people ignore the fact that I am a mom, just a different kind of mom, it validates my feelings that I'll never be a REAL mom. Am I making sense? Am I being overly emotion about all of this? I don't know. But it's good to cry it out!

Caretaker's Report to the Court

I stayed up late tonight getting my caretaker's report done for the review hearing on Monday. They sent the form as a hard copy, but not electronically, so I had to re-do everything on my computer, since they ask for it to be typed (who still has a typewriter?). Anyway, it's done. I managed to keep all opinions out of it, and only state the facts. I'm not sure how other states do it, but for me, in WA state, these were the topics I had to address:
Child's Physical Health (state results of medical/dental appointments)
Child's Emotional Health (appointment with counselor/therapist)
Child's Adjustment Today
Child's Visit with Parent(s)
Child's Adjustment with Peers
Child's Adjustment to Home
Special Problems
Special Hobbies/Interests, strengths
Thoughts on Department's Case Plan
They also say you are welcome to attach a current photo of the child, which is a great idea in my opinion. So often, these children are just numbers to all the attorneys, judges, commissioners, social workers, etc. So I made sure two very recent photos of Little Guy were printed on the bottom of my report. Now to just get it turned in at the courthouse. That's on the agenda for tomorrow.

3 months old today!

Little Guy is officially 3 months old today! However, due to his preemie status, he is 1 month old. But he’s getting so big! He’s up past 10 pounds, I’m sure, although he hasn’t been officially weighed since his doctor visit on the 14th. And he’s smiling more. I tried to get his 3-month pictures taken today, but when I arrived at Walmart, it was 10 minutes before they closed the photo studio for lunch, and I didn’t feel like wandering around Walmart for an hour. Little Guy fell asleep 15 minutes later anyway, so I guess it was best not to try and do pictures. I made an appointment for Friday, though, so we’ll try to get them done then.

Parents made it to the visit today. First thing mom said was that she had called on Monday to cancel the visit due to illness, but apparently the message never got to me. I’m not sure whether to believe her or not. I’m still not certain about her. I honestly tried to be pleasant, but I was so put off, it was hard. I’ve got to keep trying to put my feelings aside. Not an easy thing to do!

Our friends from church said they finally got their foster care license! Yay! I’ve been trying to give them all the ins and outs that I’ve learned since we started that isn’t taught in the classes. Hopefully we’ll be able to be a good support for one another.

Missed visit - GAL woes

I took Little Guy down to the DSHS offices for his normal Monday visit today, and parents never showed. Quite annoying. Ended up taking Little Guy to the office with me for a two-hour meeting. Luckily my boss is really understanding about everything, and he was fine with it. It’s not like I work a lot anyway – I just work extremely part time from home, but he needed to discuss a big project, so I went in to the office. Little Guy did well – ended up falling asleep halfway through the meeting, so that was good.

I got a call from the GAL later in the afternoon, asking how Little Guy was. I told her about the missed visit that morning. She was surprised. Apparently she had spoken to mom in the morning – mom had called her to ask her opinion about going to the visit, since she was still sick. The two decided it was probably best that she not go, but the GAL was surprised that she hadn’t called to cancel. She said she would have called me if she had known. I told her it was mom’s responsibility, not hers. Sometimes, I really think that the GAL is completely on mom’s side, without considering the best situation for Little Guy. It really frustrates me. I thought she was supposed to be fairly neutral, but it doesn’t feel like she is.

Cancelled Visit - good day of rest!

Today was supposed to be a visit day, but I got a call an hour before the visit stating that the mom had cancelled the visit – no reason given to me, but the assumption is she is sick. At least, that’s the benefit of the doubt that my husband is giving her. My selfish voice tells me that maybe she’s finally getting tried of the work and is giving up. It’s hard not to be selfish about wanting to keep Little Guy. We already love him so much! I’m so fearful that he will eventually go back to mom and dad. It truly turns my stomach, but I’m trying to trust that God’s will is being done!

We ended up staying in our jammies all day. Little Guy got back to his normal schedule of sleeping, and it’s been a really good couple of days. I think he’s finally through with the effects of his shots. Hallelujah!

Sleep - please sleep!

OK – today was a day from HELL! Little Guy barely slept last night, and then was awake at 7 am this morning. He had a visit today, and didn’t sleep at all during the visit (it’s from 10 – 12). I brought him home, and he was fussy, and still didn’t fall asleep until 1:20. And then he was back up at 2:00! He fell asleep again around 2:30, and I was exhausted, but I wasn’t sure how long he’d sleep, so I kept myself busy cleaning the kitchen until my hubby could get home. He got home around 3:15, and I lost it. I was so extremely tired I just cried like a baby! He sent me straight to bed! I ended up sleeping until 7 pm! I really needed that! Thank God for a great husbnad! He’s a definite keeper – and such a good daddy!

The Parents Visit

Ok, so I'm back from picking up Little Guy after visiting his parents at the DCFS offices. I had vowed that I no longer would randomly supply info regarding Little Guy to the parents - I wanted to see if they would ask about him. In all the previous visits (and there had been 8 up to today) they had not outright asked anything about him. They just waited for me to talk incessantly about him when I handed him over for the visit. So, now that the hearing has been postponed, and I'm allowed to make a written report to the court, I wanted to report on how much interest the parents seem to take in Little Guy's daily activities. Today, the first question his mom asked was "How is the reflux doing?" And I'm thinking - OK, she's asked a very good question, I'll give her due credit for that. I answered her question - reflux still there, but not as bad, medicine is working. Ok, we sit quiet for about 30 seconds. Then dad asks "How long has he been sleeping?" And now I'm thinking, well, I guess it is good for me to just sit quietly and wait - the parents do know how to ask questions. Which, in my selfish vein, I say "Darn it, you're not supposed to show interest! You know I want to keep this Little Guy!". But I have to push the selfish vein away, and say a silent cheer for parents, that they at least show some interest in how he is doing. So we'll play it this way for the next several visits, and see if they ask more questions. I know if it were me, and someone had my baby even for an hour, I'd want to know everything. When did he last poop? Pee? Spit up? Sleep? Wake-up? Make a noise? Everything!!!

OK, I'm done. Whew! Got that off my chest! Little Guy is asleep, so I think I'll go take a nap myself.

1st review hearing postponed

We were schedule to have a review hearing on Friday, Feb. 24 at 9:30. We got a call late afternoon Thursday that the hearing had been postponed, due to the parents and/or therapists not getting everything done they were supposed to. And then Friday afternoon I got a letter from the social worker that indicated the next hearing is April 3 at 10:30. YIKES! It's good news and bad news - good that we get to keep Little Guy longer, and love on him and cuddle him and pray over him - but bad that we won't know until April what the next steps will be. We just would like to know whether he is going to go home to parents or stay with us. Oh well, I guess this is the roller coaster journey that they warned us about. It has officially started!

More news - since Little Guy has now been in Foster Care for over a month, and will continue that way for a while, he gets a new social worker. He goes from a short-term worker to a long-term worker. I don't know if that's good or bad - so far his short-term worker has been wonderful. We meet the new SW on Tuesday afternoon - just us, the old SW and the new SW - no bio parents - so we can discuss Little Guy's case and find out what might be in store for us.

We also have our first Foster Parent Evening Support Group meeting on Tuesday night. I've been attending the once a month day time meetings, but my husband has really been wanting to attend one and can't because of work. So they have finally put together an evening one. It will be nice for him to be a part of it. Although I am the stay at home Foster Mom, he is really involved in Little Guy's care - he takes over feedings and such in the alte afternoon when he gets home (around 3:30) so that I can rest or do my things for a while. He and Little Guy love to hang out and cuddle in the Lazy Boy!

Gotta run for now - Little Guy is at a parent visit, and I need to leave now to go pick him up.

"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hand; deliver me from the hand of my enemies and persecutors." Psalm 31:14-15

Diaper Rash, Hair dryers & Bag Balm!

I am so thankful that I found a solution to Little Guy's bad diaper rash! He had been doing great - no rashes at all since he was placed with us. And then a diagnoses of Reflux, and the start of a new medicine (Zantac). This started Monday afternoon. All through Monday night/Tuesday morning , the poor guy had diarhea, which of course caused a diaper rash. Very red and angry. I had tried the old zinc cream and barrier cream, but that wasn't doing the trick. So I tried a method another adoptive mom told me about - a hair dryer! I cleaned his bottom, then used the hair dryer on low to gently dry his bottom, and once dry, applied my mom's favorite fix-all, Bag Balm. And before you knew it, the angry red was quickly disappearing. Now, some of you moms are probably shaking your heads saying "duh!" but this was new to me! And the Little Guy seems to absolutely love the hair dryer - he just lays there with a happy spaced out look on his face when I start to dry his body with the hair dryer. So I now have a new favorite remedy!

He's finally down to sleep, so I'm watching the Olympics - Ladies Figure Skating Long Program. How I managed to not find out who won today I don't know, but I'm getting ready to watch the final group of skaters. I'll hunker down on the couch with my big quilt, and see if I can stay awake! The next bottle should be around midnight, so we'll see if I get any sleep before that!

"You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy." Psalm30:11

My first post

Good early Thursday morning - it is 12:49 am (yes, right after midnight!) and I'm still awake. Why, I don't know. Our little guy just had a bottle at 11 pm, so I should be in bed now getting what sleep I can before the next bottle. Yet here I am, sitting at the computer. It draws me in and grabs a hold and won't let go, I swear! I started by doing some Google searches for things like diaper rash and hair dryers, reflux, and Fetal Alcohol Exposure. Then I started looking for Foster Mom blogs, to see if there was anyone out there I could relate to. And I found Tamara's blog http://pre-midlifecrisis.blogspot.com/ Finally, someone I can really relate to! Which made me think - I should have a blog of my own - so now I do!

But for now, I'm headed to bed. I'll start my story tomorrow. Maybe someone will be interested in reading it. We'll see. If nothing else, it will be my journal, to record my journey, and see how it all ends up.