I posted a comment on another bloggers site http://watsonschreiber.blogspot.com/2007/06/adoption.html, and after posting, realized this was something I wanted to explore on my own as well.
Why, when faced with infertility, did I not go straight to the thought of adoption first?
For me, it was a process of learning - of finding out what God truly wanted for my life. I knew I always wanted to be a mom, and I always thought - of course, I'll give birth. But then, when I found out I couldn't - it rocked my world. Coming to the place where I knew I was supposed to foster and adopt was a long road, but one I know God wanted me to travel. It was the only way He was going to teach me what I needed to learn, and that is that He has so much more in store for me than I could have ever dreamed possible.
We went through a lot in our process to have a family. After finding out I was pregnant in November 1996, I lost the baby the very next day - the pregnancy was an ectopic one, and not able to continue naturally. We then tried for the next three years to conceive, to no avail. After seeking out a fertility specialist and undergoing several tests and procedures, including two failed in-vitro procedures, I was given the words "unexplained infertility". We were heartbroken, and it took us another several years to grieve and come to the point of adoption. And wouldn't you know it - the very weekend we attended our first adoption orientation, we became pregnant. That was Valentine's weekend, and we unfortunately lost the baby to a miscarriage on Easter weekend. That was in 2003, and it was horrible. It took another two years before we could even talk about adoption. There were a lot of prayers and crying times in those two years. But God started opening our hearts, and opening doors, towards being foster parents and adopting that way. And now we know - this is what God's plan is for us. But I also believe that God was right there with us during our 10 years of struggling to have children, teaching us through the pain and heartbreak. He has given us a testimony, and has given us an ability to reach out to others in our situation and given them a shoulder to cry on and an understanding heart to help heal.
So, again, why didn't we go straight into adoption? Because we needed to be taught some things, and we didn't know that being adoptive parents was our calling.
4 comments:
Well said...you spoke volumes. You seem like a very good person and your children (that someday WILL BE YOURS) will be so lucky to have a family with you. They'll be very fortunate children to have loving parents who are good people,...and will give them a great start in life. They will have parents who can teach a lesson on how God has a plan for each of our lives! What a great gift to give children. I wish you the best!
Thank you for your honesty. I myself just had a miscarriage...mine was three days after a foster placement of four kids. We had a lovely memorial service which helped to gain closure and allowed us to grieve. We are now onto another sibling strip of four...God has a great sense of humor to think that I can handle all of the kids He is placing in our home. Our prayers are with your family.
I absolutely agree with you. Life doesn't always seem fair, but we have to remember that God has a plan for us and He is in control. I also suffered two miscarriages (last of which was at 17 weeks) and was completely devastated. I am blessed to have one biological child (prior to our losses) and now find myself entering the world of adoption...possibly fostering too. I am seeing things in a whole new light now. Maybe God intended this for us....so that we may take in and love a child unable to receive that by their biological parents. I am both excited and honored to be entering this new chapter in our lives!
I am so excited to have found your blog. I am adding you to my blog roll because we are in the very beginning stages of being approved as foster/adopt parents. We have a 2 & 4 yr old and I have always wanted a million kids but never thought of adopting. My husband was resistant (to say the least) and then one day, after my endless praying about it, he said he wanted to adopt!
I look forward to learning from you.
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