Rainbow in the Sky

Tonight was one of those strangely beautiful hot summer nights - a small spattering of rain, and the sky a strange color. We had a beautiful rainbow, and I wish I could have captured it better with my camera, but this was the best I could do. One of these days, maybe when the kids are in school, I'll take a couple of photography classes.

Future Bloggers!

I just had to take this picture the other day - after diaper changes, I found both boys at my computer. I grabbed the camera for a quick photo op - I'll have to frame these for the future work desks someday when they are out in the "real world" with jobs of their own!

Little Man's funny sayings

I thought I'd take a few minutes to share some of the things Little Man says - more for my own record keeping, but I thought you might all get a kick out of them! He can be so funny sometimes, and he really makes me think about what I say around him, because he's such a stinkin' copycat!! So, some of his most used phrases:

"Oh my goodness, mommy!"
"Wait - jus' a minute"
"That's a no-no!" (usually used when I catch him red-handed with something he's not supposed to have! My thoughts - if you know it's a no-no, why is it in your hands?!?)
"Twinkle twinkle yittle star..." (he actually sings the whole song, and uses the right voice inflection!)
"I wanna rock a nigh-night" (used when he wants to cuddle and rock while I sing him a goodnight song)

There are more, but at 11:00 at night, that's all I can think of. I'll add more to this list as I remember - or hear - them! He actually talks really, really good for 28 months. He sometimes talks non-stop, and often says the same thing 10 times in a row. Which is why I think Little Guy is not really talking much yet - he can't get a word in edge-wise!

Why Foster? Why Adopt?

I posted a comment on another bloggers site http://watsonschreiber.blogspot.com/2007/06/adoption.html, and after posting, realized this was something I wanted to explore on my own as well.

Why, when faced with infertility, did I not go straight to the thought of adoption first?

For me, it was a process of learning - of finding out what God truly wanted for my life. I knew I always wanted to be a mom, and I always thought - of course, I'll give birth. But then, when I found out I couldn't - it rocked my world. Coming to the place where I knew I was supposed to foster and adopt was a long road, but one I know God wanted me to travel. It was the only way He was going to teach me what I needed to learn, and that is that He has so much more in store for me than I could have ever dreamed possible.

We went through a lot in our process to have a family. After finding out I was pregnant in November 1996, I lost the baby the very next day - the pregnancy was an ectopic one, and not able to continue naturally. We then tried for the next three years to conceive, to no avail. After seeking out a fertility specialist and undergoing several tests and procedures, including two failed in-vitro procedures, I was given the words "unexplained infertility". We were heartbroken, and it took us another several years to grieve and come to the point of adoption. And wouldn't you know it - the very weekend we attended our first adoption orientation, we became pregnant. That was Valentine's weekend, and we unfortunately lost the baby to a miscarriage on Easter weekend. That was in 2003, and it was horrible. It took another two years before we could even talk about adoption. There were a lot of prayers and crying times in those two years. But God started opening our hearts, and opening doors, towards being foster parents and adopting that way. And now we know - this is what God's plan is for us. But I also believe that God was right there with us during our 10 years of struggling to have children, teaching us through the pain and heartbreak. He has given us a testimony, and has given us an ability to reach out to others in our situation and given them a shoulder to cry on and an understanding heart to help heal.

So, again, why didn't we go straight into adoption? Because we needed to be taught some things, and we didn't know that being adoptive parents was our calling.

Overly Emotional

This has been a crazy week – very emotional – I think this whole stretched out Little Man case is really getting to me. The older he gets and the more verbal he gets, the more he tells me and acts out. We couldn’t figure out why he’s been so overly whiny this month, and then we realized he’s having a “body memory” of last June when he moved in with us. So we’ve been taking time right before bedtime to just sit quietly and talk with him and reassure him that he’s not going anywhere. It seems to be helping. But it just breaks my heart when he mentions “I go to visit” or “I go see momma” – it makes me feel like I’m not his real mommy. So needless to say, I’ve done a lot of crying this week. The court case we had on Monday (the mom’s appeal of the March court decision not to allow Little Man to return home to her) did not end in a decision – the judge is supposed to e-mail his decision sometime this week to the lawyers. So I feel like I’m sitting on pins and needles to wait to here if this judge – a totally new judge to the case – will allow Little Man to go home to his birth mom.

Update after court

On Tuesday, May 1st, we had a court hearing regarding Little Guy & Baby Girl. They have not had contact with their birth parents since January – the birth parents last saw Little Guy on January 19 and last saw Baby Girl on January 26 – 2 days after she was born. The state has made numerous attempts to contact them, all to no avail. They have now moved and the state is not real sure where they are. The aunt and uncle that had originally wanted to raise Baby Girl have now stepped back from the case. We had been having weekly visits with their family, but these all ended (by the aunt/uncle) the last week of March. The birth parents did not show up to court on Tuesday. Parental termination has been filed on Little Guy, and according to the commissioner and social worker, it looks like parental termination on Baby Girl will be done in either 3 months or 6 months (it depends on what the statues/laws say regarding abandonment and siblings). Regardless, we are anticipating that both Little Guy and Baby Girl will be legally free to adopt by this fall, and then we can move on to the adoption stage for both of them.

As for Little Man’s case – that too will hopefully be done by this fall. At this point, the case has turned from “the best interest of Little Man” to “the best way for the state to win the termination hearing”. This means that birth mom visits will continue and services to the birth mom will continue to be offered until the termination of parental rights is complete. Just recently, the birth mom has requested a Circle of Security evaluation - we are not sure when that will be done. Right now, the parties involved will be meeting on June 1 to set a date for the termination hearing. Unfortunately, this is heard in Superior Court, so the date will really depend on how busy the criminal docket is, and if something major comes up criminally, the termination hearing will have to be put on hold until the docket clears. They’ve told us that the termination hearing will be scheduled anywhere from 3 weeks to 16 weeks after June 1. Arrghh! The court system is just incredible! We are really trying to be patient because we know that God is in control of this, but sometimes, it is very hard! Especially since Little Man is only getting older, and the visits are becoming more confusing to him the older he gets. You can pray specifically that God protects Little Man – emotionally and mentally – during these visits. I know he is physically safe, and the visits are supervised, but we are just praying protection over his mind during the visits.

Little Man continues to amaze us with his communication – he talks non-stop and about everything! He is a smart little cookie! Little Guy started walking just before Easter, and now is running after Little Man and doing everything Little Man does – egads! However, Little Guy hasn’t really started talking yet – probably because he can’t get a word in edgewise around Little Man. Baby Girl is very alert, smiling all the time, and “talking” and laughing at us. It's amazing how similar Baby Girl and Little Guy are - I can pretty much anticipate a lot of her reactions based on what Little Guy did. And they look so much alike!

So keep praying for us! Thanks for being a listening ear!

Heading off to court...

Just a quick note -we are headed off to court today for the siblings - Little Guy and Baby Girl. I'll give a report of what happened as soon as I can today. It's a busy day - court at 11, a dental appt for me at 2, a public health nurse visit for the kiddos at 4 - and lunch and naps sometime in between! Yikes!

Computer is back in action!

OK - I think I finally have a completely working computer. Yippee! It's too late now, but maybe tomorrow I'll be able to update a little more than this. I have some pics I want to post, and some stories I want to tell, yadda, yadda, yadda. But right now, I need to sleep! See you tomorrow!

Outside Play

What a fun day yesterday! The weather was decent, so we decided to have some afternoon play time in the backyard. The boys love being outside, as does our dog Sam. Little Man's favorite thing to do, though, is to sit in the sandbox and throw sand all over himself. Before we went in the house, I stripped off most of his clothes outside to shake them out, dust off the collection of sand, and then hurried him in to the bathtub. But next to playing outside, his second favorite thing is bathtime, so it worked out well!

Telling Secrets

Little Guy loves his new baby sister. He especially likes it when I lay her down on the footstool so he can talk to her and play with her. And she seems to be responding really well to him. It's amazing how much she looks like he did at the same age. Spitting image! If I didn't dress her in pink, I wouldn't be able to tell pictures apart sometimes!